Friday, October 19, 2012

My Hypnobabies Birth Story: Part 2

When we got to the room, I got out of the wheelchair and got myself settled on the bed.  I was very comfortable, and my contractions were only coming at about every 10 minutes or so.  I was able to easily talk through them and I was able to sign all the paperwork that they throw at you as soon as you get in the door.  My friend, S., helped me through all of this, and I was so grateful.  They put in a heplock, attached me to the monitor, and gave me a run down of how often they would check me and how long/often I would have to be hooked up to the fetal monitor.  (I had chosen to be intermittenly monitored since I wanted the freedom to move around.)

It was about 3:30 a.m. when I was finally all settled and just waiting.  The hours seemed to go by pretty fast, but they went by in slow motion as well.  I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, but labor is a bit weird.  The reason I call this my Hypnobabies birth story is because I had been taking a home study course to try to deal with my pain naturally.  Hypnobabies is a form of childbirth hypnosis, and it helps you to learn how to relax and breathe during labor.  They teach that fear=tension+pain, and that if you can calm down and relax during each "pressure wave" (contraction is a negative word, although I never did learn to call them "pressure waves")  The Hypnobabies teacher was right! When I was able to really be calm and ignore my contractions and not be scared of them, I hardly had any pain.  I really was able to hypnotize myself into not feeling anything.  This was so different to all the nurses, my doctor, and to my husband, parents, and friend.  Here I was, completely unmedicated, and not making a sound, and the expression on my face was one of calm.  My mom took a picture of me because she was so impressed by my strength, apparently.  (I was so inside my head, I didn't even realize what was going on around me.  Imagine my surprise when I see all these pictures of me in labor!)

I tried very hard to find positions that were the most comfortable for me during labor.  I labored on the ball, I labored in the tub, I labored on the bed, I even ended up laboring on the toilet! (Which I had heard of women doing but always thought it was weird.  It's actually pretty good for getting you to dilate, that is, if your body will dilate.)  The most comfortable place for me was in the tub.  I listened to my Hypnobabies "Easy First Stage" track and just relaxed.  Those were the best moments during my whole labor.  I'm not sure why I didn't just stay in the tub the throughout my labor; but I kept getting cold, which wasn't helping my comfort level.  

The hours kept passing and passing.  I would be checked, and there wasn't hardly any progress.  It was so disappointing for everyone in the room. The room started feeling depressing, and almost what I would call dark.  This whole time that I am laboring, again unmedicated, I am trying to utilize my Hypnobabies techniques, and I am also praying like I have never prayed before.  I prayed for mercy, I prayed for grace, and I prayed that everything would be over soon and I would have my beautiful baby boy.  My labor experience was so intense, that the only thing I could do was call on God to help me.  My doctor helped us with this, too.  I am so thankful that we were able to have such a godly man as our doctor! He held my and my husband's hands and prayed with us.  This was after about 15 hours of labor.  There wasn't a dry eye in the room after he said this prayer, but it was very comforting to me. 

Finally, at 9:00, my doctor came in to check me and make an ultimatum.  If I hadn't progressed by 10:00, he believed that the baby wouldn't come out.  For that hour, I got back in the tub and prayed that I would have progress. For a solid hour, I begged God to let me be able to have this baby without a c-section and that He would just let me have my son.  It seemed like only a minute later that my husband came in and told me I needed to get out of the tub because the doctor would be coming back in soon.  I couldn't believe an hour had passed by already.  I dried off and my husband helped me back into bed, and we waited and prayed.

The doctor came in almost right at 10:00.  He checked me, and I could tell from the look on his face what was going to happen.  He gave me the saddest look, and he just shook his head.  I sighed a big, big sigh, and just said, "Ok.  Do what you have to do.  The main thing is that we are both healthy and safe."  Almost immediately they started prepping me for a c-section.  The anesthesiologist came in and did his spiel, and the whole time I just want him to shut up because I am still having contractions.  After being in labor for 21 hours, with 6 hours and 45 minutes of them being in the transition stage with the hardest contractions ever, all I wanted was the spinal block for the c-section.  I had never had surgery before, and I was really nervous.  My dad has had problems in the past from waking up in the middle of procedures, and I was so afraid that it could happen to me, too, but I didn't care about anything except the safety of my son.

Finally, around 11:00 p.m. they wheeled me into the OR.  I sat up on the table, and the anesthesioligist, who was pretty goofy, began telling me everything he was about to do.  I didn't really care or listen. My friend, S., held me up and let me lean on her while they were administering the epidural.  Like I said before, I was so grateful to her!  After they finished, they slid me back on the table and attached all the wires for the heart rate monitor and blood pressure cuff to my finger/arm.  My heart rate was crazy; I believe it went up to 180 at one point.  They had to calm me down because I was so scared; all I could think about after that was that I was going to give myself a heart attack before I ever got to see my son.  

The nurses and doctors in the OR finished doing all their prep work in record time, and then they called in my mom and my husband.  They sat behind my head while they did the c-section.  My husband said that he tried not to look at the little overhead mirror, but that it was like a wreck that you couldn't look away from.  He saw them pop our beautiful baby boy's head out, and immediately we all heard a cry.  Which was definitely the most beautiful sound in the world.  I'm crying, my husband is crying, my mom is crying, and we are just so glad that he was out! The doctor brought him over to me and held him down by my head so I could see him. It was the most amazing moment, so far, in my life.

My husband was so proud!! Fatherhood suits him very well!!

 After that, they stapled me up and gave my son his first bath.  My husband and mother went to take pictures and stare at him in awe.  I was so sad that I wasn't able to hold him or nurse him right then, but I knew it was only a matter of time.  Finally they were done, and they transferred me to a hospital bed.  They put my son in my arms and wheeled us to our room.  Since I was a c-section patient, we were able to get one of the bigger rooms, which was pretty awesome.  They got us all settled in, and then the nurse for that floor came in to talk to us.  She taught my husband how to change a diaper, and he did great! He actually changed all of our son's diapers while we were in the hospital.

 Finally, everyone left us and we were able to relax.  (For maybe an hour anyway, since we kept having people come in and out of the room.)  I was so relieved that my labor and birth was over and I had my son!!  I haven't mentioned a lot about my mom or my best friend, L., but it's because they were in a completely different zone than I was.  I pretty much ignored everyone and just went inside my head.  But I couldn't have done it without my awesome birth support team, and if ya'll are reading this, I thank you both for being there! And I'd like to thank my awesome and amazing husband for taking care of me during and after labor, and for being such a wonderful daddy.  I am so proud to be your wife, and our son is lucky he has you.


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