Sunday, October 14, 2012

Introduction (Warning: It's long!)


Okay, this post is very long, and I do apologize, but this should be the longest post I ever post! Except for maybe the one I post tomorrow, haha. ;)

We just had a beautiful baby boy.  I have been so very blessed to be able to stay at home with my son, and this blog is going to be about my journey in motherhood, and also my spiritual journey as well.  My other hobbies are reading, crafting, and music, so there will be several entries on those things, too, I'm sure.  Honestly, I have too many interests.  I've always felt as if my hobbies were the jack-of-all-trades-yet-master-of-none type, but I'm hoping during all of the wonderful free time you have with a baby (yeah right!) that I will find my niche in the craft world and everywhere else.  Until then, enjoy reading about my journey and all of the crazy things I will attempt to make/do! :)

Here's a little background information on how our son came to be: my husband and I met when my family was living in Texas.  I was seventeen at the time and in the fall of my senior year of high school.  I had been playing the keyboard at my church at the time when I met my DH. We were lacking a bass player, and he came to my church to play with us.I knew from the moment he walked down the church aisle that there was something special about him.  He, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice me.  (Later I found out it was because I was still in high school and he is five years older than me.  He automatically looked at me and thought, "Off Limits!!" Haha!) My DH, at the time, was not the typical type of man I was attracted to.  I had in the past gone out with guys who looked and acted completely different than he did.  Which I think is precisely why I knew he was the man for me.  I was determined to make him notice me, and I knew that once he did, he would ask me out.  Was I cocky much?  Yep.  I totally admit it.  How awesome it was to be a teenager and have all that confidence, lol!

Then came a time when my DH FINALLY noticed me. We went to this Christian rock concert and really bonded by talking about the music and all sorts of stuff. During the ending worship set, he came up behind me and put his arms around me.  My friend, we'll call her D., was with us and she gave me the weirdest look!! I knew she was thinking there was something going on between me and my DH, but nothing had been going on at that point.  I just remember being stunned and having those wonderful lovey butterflies in my stomach as soon as my DH's arms were around my neck.  The next day at school, we were eating in the cafeteria and she kept teasing me.  "You're going to go out with him!"she said. I of course said, "Nah, probably not", all the whilethinking, "I hope she's right!" This "turning point"concert had happened towards the very end of my senior year, and it gave me hope that my DH might finally decide that I was old enough for him to date.  After all, what college age guy wants to go out with a high schooler? ;)

I also became very involved in our church's college group before I had even graduated from high school.  I didn't feel like I was being fed spiritually in our youth group; I felt like everything there was just silly and that they dumbed the curriculum down.  I had been in pursuit of godliness and holiness since my tenth grade year, and I really wanted to learn.  Because I was now in the college group, I really got to know my DH.  I remember being so manipulative; like putting my Bible next to his on the table in the Sunday School room so that I would make sure I would sit next to him. (Both of us had to put our things down before class so that we could go to praise band practice and come back and not make too much noise interrupting.)  One time I did this, and he picked his Bible up and moved.  I was livid!! I thought things were going to start happening between us, and that action made me so sad.  (You know, I doubt he even remembers any of that! Lol!)

We finally got our chance to be together that summer.  All of the people in our college class went away on vacation, and we were the only two people left.  Naturally, we ended up spending a lot of time together.  Lots of completely platonic time, I might add.  He would take me to Chili's after praise band practice (and he always paid, so that's where I will always say ourfirst date was) and we would go shopping and we would hang out at his house and play Burnout on his PS2 and watch movies. We always had so much fun! I remember we also would sit around and talk about the Bible.  These discussions made him even MORE attractive to me. He was smart, musically talented, and was a godly man.  What more could I ask for?

Sidenote: during a marriage, you find that the man that you think is absolutely perfect, isn't. Because no person is perfect! My husband had (um, has) his flaws.  But what I didn't know about my husband was not only that he was smart and musically talented,but he knows how to work on cars, how to fix the plumbing in the house, how to turn bowls and do other carpentry work, how to network the computers and do all the IT work in the house, how to cook, how to do laundry, and how to surprise his wife with flowers or other little things.  I'm sure there's even lots of stuff I have left out! (I know my DH will probably read this, so honey: don't get a big head about everything I just said. Just kidding! Feel free to. You are awesome!)

Okay, back to how our son came to be, haha. Anyway, one night we were hanging out, watching a movie and being yards (ok, maybe I exaggerate!)away from each other, when all of a sudden, he comes over and sits next to me on his bed! I swear, I almost hyperventilated. I was so surprised!  We sat therewith the weirdest tension between us. Oh, and the remote.  Yep, the remote was right there between us, with our hands on either side of it.  For some reason, we both reached for the remote at the same time.  Then, we ended up in some kind of crazy/silly remote control tug-of-war that ended up in -yep, you guessed it! - hand holding. Wow, those butterflies were out of control! And the movie we were watching?  Of course, it had to be"Contact." ;)

After that, our relationship moved very fast. Too fast, according to our friends.  After all, I was still just a teenager of 18, and my husband is five years older than me.  (I turned 18 about a week after we were officially a couple.) Many of our friends kept telling us we were crazy for getting engaged after being together for only four months, and for setting a wedding date for only nine months after that.  (In hindsight, I understand why.  Marriage is hard! And it's not for wimps, just like motherhood is not for wimps.)  But we told everyone, "Hey, when you know you've found the one person you are supposed to marry, that's it! It's simple!" Still, there were many people who thought that we were making a mistake.  (But it doesn't bother me because here we are, six years later with a beautiful son, and our relationship is better than it's ever been!)

So there it is, the short and sweet (well the shortest I could make it!) version of our love story.  After we were married, we continued living in Texas for two years.  My parents moved back "home" to Arkansas after the first year we were married, and I became really depressed.  I am an only child, so not having my parents around was a shock.  I didn't even know how much I would miss them! During some of our "pre-engagement" conversations, my husband had mentioned that he wouldn't mind living in Arkansas someday.  Those words were music to my ears at the time, especially since I was missing the trees and air and just the very nature of Arkansas.  (Dallas is a far cry from the country that I was used to, although if you like the city life, it's a fun place.)  I said to him, "I hope that you're telling me the truth instead of what I want to hear.  Because I think I have to move back."  He promised me that he would find a way to bring me to Arkansas.  

And two years later he did! He ended up getting a job transfer that he technically should not have been qualified to get.  He was supposed to stay in the same position for a longer period of time before he should have been eligible to move.  This move was totally a God thing.  We ended up moving in with my parents while we were looking for a house, and we actually ended up finding a house only a week or two after we moved.  We had always lived in an apartment before, so buying a house was so wonderful!  Our little house was perfect for us, and it still is. 

We also ended up "going back to our roots," so to speak, by finding a church and getting back into the praise band, which is where all of this started.  Our worship pastor is so awesome, and in fact, he and his wife are our best friends.  I have never had a close female friend before because, in my experience, women were conniving and would stab you in the back in a heartbeat.  Of course this isn't always the case.  My friend, L., is the most amazing woman ever, and I am so blessed to have her as a friend. We love that family so much! In fact, L. really helped me, my DH, and my mother during my labor, which you can look forward to reading in tomorrow's post. ;)

Now I am working on getting my walk with God to be as awesome as it was when I was a teenager.  After my DH and I became a couple, I neglected my quiet times, my prayers, and my journaling.  I think that happens to a lot of people when they find the person they are going to spend the rest of their life with.  They end up feeling content, and as if they don't need God as much as they thought they did, which ultimately ends up badly.  You end up feeling depressed and sad, and you wonder, what happened that made me lose touch? Why did I neglect Him?  I am very grateful that I have time alone in the mornings to do a devotional study, read my Bible, and pray aloud to God.  I know He hears me, and He is blessing me continually, even though I'm dealing with some crazy post-partum stuff.  (I might write more about that later, but I may not; everyone goes through something weird after pregnancy and I am no exception, despite how amazing I feel about getting back in the groove of being godly.)  I should also clarify that I  never did anything crazily sinful (like partying, or drugs, or any of that illicit stuff - you don't have to do all that to know that you are doing wrong and need forgiveness just because you are neglecting God) during the time that I had stopped having my daily prayers and Bible reading.  I know that I just really needed forgiveness for various things and I am constantly striving to be/do good every day.  

Revelation 3:16 says, "So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth." (NASB; emphasis added by me.) This verse has disturbed me for such a long time, because I knew I was a "Lukewarm Christian."  I used to be piping hot, but somewhere along the line, I just got lazy.  I did the bare minimum.  And now I feel like I've been put back on the burner and am slowly being heated up back to the perfect temperature.  

I am finding in my Bible study that there are so many verses about being called to godliness.  1 and 2 Timothy have so many verses about godliness! Here are just a couple I have found: 

1 Timothy 4:7 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women. On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.

1 Timothy 6:11 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.

My Bible study has been based on the book "Set Apart: Discovering Personal Victory Through Holiness", by Bruce Wilkinson. My MIL gave this book to me one year for Christmas, and I have had it in my bookshelf all this time.  It has been amazing! It has truly helped me pursue my relationship with God.  My childbirth experience was not the greatest (again, I promise I will write about it tomorrow!) and I believe that is part of what drew me back to Him.  In any case, I feel so blessed and so thankful that I am doing what I know I should be doing.  It makes my life so much more amazing, and I know that it is critical to keep developing my relationship with God in order to be the kind of mother and the kind of example that I should be for my son.  I want to be like the Proverbs 31 woman.  And I will do whatever I can to become that way. :)


A Wife of Noble Character

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm[c] clothes.
22 She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

-Proverbs 31: 10-31


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